Law School: God is Still My God

Well, I think it’s time. Time I talked about what happened with law school. So Rewind to the beginning and hang on to your seats.

The Dream Begins:
About 2010: I was a sophomore (I think) in college and about 17-18 years old. I was taking a class called Business Law. It was a required class to be a business major. Which at the time was what I wanted. We began the class and after 50 min of class I knew in my heart what I really wanted was to be a lawyer. You know when you just feel something so strong that you can’t deny it, no matter how crazy it may seem? Thats how I felt. It’s like falling in love that moment when you look at someone and just realize that with your whole heart you would do anything for them? Thats how I felt about being a lawyer.

First Bump In The Road:
At the end of your junior year you apply to be admitted to the business program and once your admitted you can take the remaining classes to graduate. I applied and I was rejected. You needed like a 3.5 GPA and I had a solid 3.49 GPA, something like that. Basically I was heart broken. In the coming days after I was rejected I was trying to decide what to do when my Dad took Allie to a Running Start orientation at EWU. This is where he met a person that would come to change my life. He met a economics professor and some how they started talking about me and my situation and she said to my Dad “have her come see me.” So, desperate for an answer, a way to move forward toward my dream I went and met her at her office. I walked out of her office an Economics major. See you didn’t have to be in the business program to be an economics major so I was set. Now I didn’t just choose economics because it was a way to graduate. I really did liked the economics classes I had taken but to me I thought I had to be a business major to go to law school. I had no idea you could be anything you wanted. I tell most people that ask why I choose economics the same things. I choose economics for two reasons. One is this, everything I love about business is called economics. The second reason was that professor. She was so fun and energetic and determined and educated and I saw in her the determination that was in my heart and I don’t know what it was but she put my worried heart at ease. She also supported my dream to be a lawyer. Witch most people laughed at me for.

Applying to Law School:
So my senior year of college I took the LSAT’s and applied to law school at every law school in the tristate area. The one I really wanted was Gonzaga University that was 15 min away from my parents house. I was rejected from every single law school I applied to, well or waitlisted. So I waited a year and re-applied, during this time I stayed in undergrad working towards a double major in Government (it was the closest thing to pre-law at EWU). Along comes the next year, and with that came more rejections. This happened for another year as well. So deciding I could not go to school anymore I stopped going and got a job at Joann Fabrics. I was so broken, mentally and emotionally. I was dating my ex-boyfriend at the time and he had just decided he wanted to go to law school too so he was now applying and so I decided to retake the LSATs and apply one last time. I applied everywhere this time. Then slowly the rejections came in. I was easily hurt by this and so I remember I was laying in bed very upset when I decided to check my email. In my email there was a subject that read “High GPA, Low LSAT Score?” This intrigued me, because that described my situation to a T. In the email was a letter explaining that I was invited to attend a summer starter program at a law school in Ohio. I immediately walked in to talk to my parents. I remember we where sitting and talking and both me and my Mom were against interviewing for the spot at the school. Yet, my Dad seemed to think this was a good idea. So we spend the $1000 on plane tickets and me and my Mom flew to Ohio.

Should be noted that at this time. My Ex, got accepted to Gonzaga law, to which I was rejected. He also got in to ONU. He choose GU. I cho

Summer Starter Program:
Well I was accepted to the summer starter program at Ohio Northern University. It started on May 25th 2015. I was so excited that I didn’t even care that I was alone across the country knowing absolutely no one. Eventually, I made friends and got Lulu and pushed threw the program. It was the hardest thing I think I have ever done. It was so much studying and constant reading and taking notes and no matter what I did I never felt caught up and I never felt like I was getting it. So I pulled some moderately okay grades and came home for the month of August. I remember I really didn’t want to go back, I was so lonely and depressed there alone and I was struggling in school and it was just the beginning so of a terrible situation.

First Year Fall Semester:
Well, for some reason I went back and did the best I could. I continued to struggle and fall behind. I was doing everything I could to get help. But none of it worked. I hated being away from my family and was struggling living alone and the long distance from my boyfriend was not helping at all. IT was the beginning of the hardest time in my life.
After first semester i went home for thanksgiving and told my parents i wasn’t going back. Some how they talked my in to going back. I remember texting my boyfriend the night before I had to go back saying I didn’t wanna go. Some how I got on that plane and went back and took my finals and then came home for Christmas.
After Christmas I was called in to the deans office where he essentially told me there was no chance of me staying in law school (that I was going to be academically dismissed if i didn’t bring my grades up) he told me i shod drop out and go home. That I was wasting my money staying. It was everything  I could do to not cry in his office. I was heart broken. But some how I had the strength to tell him that I was staying and not going down without a fight.

First Year Spring Semester:
So I stayed. I fought the good fight. I was battling depression from not doing well and continued to live in what I can only describe as pure hell. Constant stress and frustration and working my ass off under those conditions. My relationship was also on the decline. April came and we broke up. Then June 5th 2016 came, grades were released and I had not made the cut. I received and email saying I was academically dismissed. My dreams where crumbling, my life was in shambles, I was depressed, and alone to deal with it all.

Moving Home:
It took 21days for me to gather the funds for a 700$ plane ticket home and 250$ for 5 suitcases to come with me. Everything I owned was jammed in to 5 suit cases and a back pack. I sold everything else at a two day garage sale.
So, sunburn, exhausted and completely broke. I flew home on my 24th birthday, with my fur babies. I was met at the airport in Spokane by my parents who took my tired self to Allie’s apartment where I was going to be living. Couldn’t move in with my parents because my Dad is allergic to cats and I have 2. Also at 24 years old i felt it was more age appropriate to be living with my sister.
I immediately started looking for a job. I was lost and confused and heart broken. But I needed money I was not about to let my parents support me.

6 Months Later…
It was the relief of a life time to come home. I was instantly happier despite everything. Atlas I had my family by mysids. My Ohana.
So, still no job. Still no dream my Mom looked in to the paralegal program at SCC. She texted me and said to look at it. I dragged my feet on looking in to it but I finally made an appointment with a councilor at SCC.

Meeting The Changed Everything:
Me and my Dad sat down for a meeting with a councilor at SCC. After 5 min she informed me that in WA state a paralegal can sit for the Bar and become a lawyer.
I got in the car with my Dad after the meeting and told him that “It’s not over yet.” My dream was still on, there was another way. God still had a plan for me to become what was in my heart.

Now:
I start the paralegal program at SCC spring quarter, April 3rd, 2017. In the mean time I got a job as a part-time business office associate at CarMax. I plan to keep the job through school and take credits slowly so I get them right and don’t have to retake anything. I love my job. I love the people and I love that it doesn’t feel like a used car dealer it feels like a upright and honest business. I can’t wait to start school I registered for all my classes and I am so excited to take them. I am excited to attend lectures and take notes and do assignments and get grades and all that. I’m a huge nerd I know.

Overall, this has been the hardest battle I have ever fought, but I will not be taken down. I will not be overcome. I will be a lawyer and I will achieve my dreams. Thought things did not go my way and though things where way off from what I wanted God is still my God.

Organizational Systems: Law School Edition

I will forever love organization. I know that sounds contradictory considering I have ADHD but let me explain. When I was a child I was very disorganized. I never kept a planner, I threw things in my backpack and let them get crumpled up at the bottom, I lost assignments and was getting bad marks in school because of my lack of organization. My 4th grade teacher and my parents reprimanded me to the point where I feared disorganization so I adapted by being overly organized. Now I don’t blame them mate reprimand is the wrong term, they formally encouraged organization. Now, it literally scares me to not know exactly where things are. Hence, I keep everything in its place. Live with my planner, I nearly sleep with the thing.
That being said I have learned to love organization and embrace it’s clean and neat characteristics.

Anyone who has done any research on the topic of organization in relation to school can tell you that there is a million ways to set up and keep an organizational system in school. I feel I have tried every system over the years; every binder, notebook, folder and planner there is. But I never found true peace in a single system. Sure I could adapt and make due with whatever system I was working with at that time but still I never found a system and loved it whole heartedly.
I think that I never found a system that I loved because I never a build a system, for the way that my brain worked. I always jus was a chameleon adapting to my surrounding comforting for fear of losing things.

Now, I would nearly call my-self a professional student. I have completed 14 years of primary education (K-12), 5 years of college and a semester of graduate level education. Needless to say I am experienced in schooling. Anyway, I decided if not now then when? Now is the time I build my very own school organization system.

I started at the base of my organizational system. My planner. I researched planners for days. Finally, I saw a post on Pinterest that read “How I Found Planner Peace” now that peaked my interest. It was a blog post on Bullet Journals. Now I won’t go in to what a Bullet Journal is or anything but basically it’s a planner that is adapted to how you r mind works. At least that’s how I understand it. So I built one. Okay, you caught me I built 4 before I was satisfied with one.

Anyway here is my Bullet Journal:

This is the cover, the back looks the same. Yes, I also have a wash tape problem. The star in the corner is so I can tell the front from the back.

The second picture here is of the first page where I have my Key, it’s at the bottom of the page so that I can add an Index at the top once it gets more full.

This is my monthly view it takes a full page before that month starts. This is where I track bills/birthdays and what day we are on. 

This is my weekly spread. It has each day of the week starting on Monday. Since in my mind a week begins on a Monday. Each day has three sections the top with medical reminders, the middle where I put meetings, events, appointments, Todo items and non assignment related things. The three section is broken up by class. I put the assignments that are due that day there, then cross them off as I do them. So if I’m on top of things the day should start with all the assignments crossed off. 
My question to you people my polite readers, is this… How do you organize you school stuff?
Binders for each class? One huge notebook? loose leaf paper and folders?
Also what planners do you guys use? What do you like about them? What would you change?

The Comeback?

I’m dragging my feet making this post. I don’t want people to think I’m running from thing to thing looking for something that I don’t need. Let me start with the facts.

Law School, was not for me. That became… evident.

After some time in prayer and misery floundering for a plan I looked for a job. I got one at the Pullman Regional Hospital, in the behavioral health clinic.

While working there, I realized this was not the future I wanted. So I started asking my self what I wanted and what I was looking for.

I knew I wanted a high level education that would allow me to help others with my skills, and knowledge of a field.

So after determining I needed a masters to get a PhD, I decided to go broad and get my MBA.

Since I have no interest in moving away, I limited my search to online, WSU, and I of U. Thats when I came across Capella University’s MBA, Flex-path. It’s a work as you go MBA program online.

I start September 10th.

I’m actually more excited for this than I was law school. I knew I was supposed to do this because of a multitude of reasons, but the important thing is I’m moving forward and I’m excited.

Bring it on.

 

Big Time Life Update

As you know I have not shared too much of whats going on in my life lately. I was surly not ready to share it with the world. so I didn’t. But I feel like I’m hiding now and I’m over that. So here you go.

No School: I dropped out of law school. I will not be continuing in the Fall, see this post for details.

New Job: In early July I started a job. Since I need to continue paying bills and eating I got a job. More of out of necessity than want to. But I got one none the less. After 2 interviews. One with a huge cat scratch on my face… Anyway, I did not get that job, they never even had the gall to call me and tell me. Whatever, didn’t want that one anyway. Second interview was actually 2 interviews for receptionist positions at Pullman Regional Hospital. One in Behavioral Health Clinic and the other in Heart Center.

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I got the job as lead receptionist at Palouse Psychiatry & Behavioral Health, the behavioral health clinic owned by the hospital. So far I have to admit it’s hard. There is a lot to learn and a lot to take care of. Up side is I am being told that I rock the position and blow their minds with my work on a daily basis. So that feels good. Also I like that even though it’s small I’m helping people that desperately need help. There is a shortage of Mental Health professionals in the area and it’s sever. Bringing me to my nest topic.

ADHD Testing:

So after leaving the psychiatrist at U of I, I needed to go to one in the community. SO I was referred to one at Gritman in Moscow, and they called to schedule me and asked for the testing results of my ADHD diagnosis. Those papers do not exist. I have never been tested for ADHD, only ever screened, apparently.

So after determining that i have very crappy insurance for the summer before my new work insurance starts, I am going to WSU psych department for ADHD and autism testing. I know it seems backwards I’ve been treated for the two for like 6 years but they want a “official” diagnosis so I got to get one.

I am excited to be tested I like the affirmation that I am being treated fro the correct thing.

Things I didn’t Know:

I have carried the diagnosis of manic depressive disorder for about 5 years. I never knew what that meant till I stated working in Behavioral health. It’s Bipolar disorder. I’m unclear as it whether it’s I or II, because I fit the criteria for II not I but manic depressive is technically called Bipolar I.

Idk how I feel about that. I’m still processing.

No-one at work knows I have anything other than ADHD, I was worried I would be judged and they think I could not do the job or worse baby me trying to “protect me” at work. I don’t want that. I want to be treated like anyone else. Like a human being. So I kept it to my self.

 

Oh well, that’s my update. As always message me with questions!

-Ky ❤

Love/Hate

Things That Piss Me Off: (random order)

  1. Injustice in the legal system
  2. People that hurt kids and get away with low jail time or just probation.
  3. People that don’t vaccinate because it “causes autism.”
  4. People that are rude/make fun of people with special needs
  5. Not being prepared for something I could have prepared for.
  6. Low pay for good child care professionals/teachers
  7. Warm Mountain Dew
  8. When someone moves my home furniture without my consent
  9. Socks that fall off you heel
  10. Undershirt tank tops that are too short

Things That Warm My Heart: (random order)

  1. People that go out of their way to do something for a stranger
  2. Parents that do their very best to help their kids even when it’s hard
  3. Financial donations to those in need
  4. Adoption
  5. Overcoming addiction
  6. Giving your life to Jesus
  7. People choosing to keep going when they have every reason to quit
  8. Loving when you have every excuse not to
  9. Showing love to your enemies
  10. Respecting someone that things different from you (especially religiously)

Monday: Weight in #2

I kicked butt this weekend and earned two blue dots for being in the healthy point range on my Weight Watchers app. Sadly, though I weighed my self this morning and I’m only down like 5 pounds from my highest. I know that seems like a big gain from being 13 pounds down but that is weight loss, it goes up and down and the goal is to keep going no matter what the scale says. I think I am up because I ate a 17 point taco yesterday. That was fulled with sodium. Granted I didn’t have much else yesterday to allow for such a dinner.

I am a little discouraged, I liked seeing 13 less pounds. But I know its a journey and that it takes time. So I will kick back with my Diet Coke and press on.

One thing, I have not been taking my measurements. I know I should because my dress pants are fitting a little lose and they were snug. That would be a good way to see some progress even when the scale does not see any. Maybe I will do that today.

I am supremely bored with my food choices. I eat the same 8 things all week. So This week I want to try at least one new recipy that is out of my comfort zone. I was thinking maybe WW Buffalo wrap things. I have never cooked with buffalo stuff and I really like it at restraunts so why not.

I’m finding that healthy food is trial and error in what I like vs. what I don’t like. The result has been me spending more money on food than I usually do. I want to avoid that, but I also don’t wanna be stuck in the same boring foods. That is beaming an balancing act.

Good news, is I still got a blender and I can just throw crap in is and it turns out amazing.  Todays venture will be trying adding Kale to my smoothies. hopefully it makes then a little more filling.

Quick questions, If… and that’s a big if… I was to film a little about my weight loss journey/my life would any of you watch it? Just thinking out loud. Let me know it the comments.

Thanks!