Twilight: Breaking Dawn

Liked or Disliked (1-10, 10 I loved it)

  • 10, one of the best books I have ever read

Ten Things I liked

  1. The changing between view points, from Bella’s to Jacobs (he was my favorite) to Bella’s again
  2. That they told Charlies reaction to the marriage.
  3. Bella’s scene of humor
  4. How everyone falls in love with Renexmae
  5. How Jacob is more of a kid in this book
  6. All the different Characters
  7. How Bella finds her self and really centers to a place where she is a protector
  8. The way the family falls in love with Bella and she is instantly accepted.
  9. The wolves and vampires getting along
  10. The Happy ending

It was really hard to stop here for the record

Ten things I didn’t Like

  1. Alice and Jasper leaving
  2. The thought of Jacob and Renesme with out Edward and Bella
  3. The lack of response Charlies has to the change in Bella
  4. That this was the end of the series
  5. The lame fashion (it’s better in the movie)
  6. I like the Cullen’s house in the movie better
  7. The lack of Bella’s mom. I love her.
  8. Jasper’s reaction to Bella
  9. That Edward and Bella have literally no alone time that is not sex once she is a vampire
  10. That there was not more about charlie and Harry’s Witto falling in love.

Top three Favorite Scene’s

  1. Bella letting Edward read her mind
  2. The Wedding
  3. The Family’s good bye

Quotes I Liked

  • “Early Marriage was higher on her black list that boiling live puppies”
  • “Damn it” (I like it when proper Edward cusses)
  • “No you can still bite Jacob”

Comparison to Movie

Obviously, I have only seen the first part of the movie, I as a whole would deem the book 100 times better then the movie, there was more detail and I enjoyed Jacobs point of view which was not in the movie in the same way, I felt like the movie robbed the book of much of the good parts and one liners. However, if it where not fro the wedding scene I could never have imagined it that beautiful as the movie had it.


Liked or Disliked (1-10, 10 I loved it)

  • 10, I loved it.

Ten Things I liked

  1. Learning about Carlisle
  2. That they don’t eat at the diner
  3. that The other vampires never killed what’s his face
  4. Her and Edwards relationship, suddenly so serious
  5. The little meaningless thoughts Bella has
  6. How infatuated she is with Edward
  7. Jacob
  8. Her description of the weather
  9. How Edward can’t keep anything from her
  10. His class

Ten things I didn’t Like

  1. Her waiting so long in the hotel room with Jasper and Alice
  2. That we didn’t really know what happened to James until Edward told her
  3. How Edward said she needed to go back with her mother
  4. That she had to hurt Charlie to leave
  5. That James found her
  6. That Edward choose not to change her (i hated it in the moment i understand why it had to be that way)
  7. Some of Bella’s somberness
  8. Angela and the other dude are not dating in this book
  9. That Bella is so frail
  10. The lack of progression in her and Charlies Relationship

Top three Favorite Scene’s

  1. The first kiss
  2. Edward carrying her to the nurse on blood typing day
  3. The Car when she says she knows he is a Vampire.

Comparison to Movie

Everything that I hated or disliked in some small way was righted and perfect in the movie. I did like the wardrobe in the movie as opposed to the book there where some drab clothing descriptions in the book. Overall, Book FTW. I loved the music in the movie thought and that we saw the second plot of the other vampires working in the movie.

The Giver

Liked or Disliked (1-10, 10 I loved it)

  • 7

Ten Things I liked

  1. that he took Gabe
  2. That he soon became mad
  3. That he had a huge will to live
  4. That he found elsewhere
  5. That he became defiant
  6. That he was brave
  7. That he was able to get away
  8. The bizarreness of the whole thing
  9. How different it was
  10. The creepy irry feeling the book gave me

Ten things I didn’t Like

  1. The length
  2. that the Giver stayed
  3. That he abandoned his family
  4. and Fiona
  5. The lack of simplistic joy
  6. his regard fro the rules
  7. Releases
  8. When he watched the release of the Baby
  9. That Rosemary was his daughter
  10. The Parents especially the mom

Top three Favorite Scene’s

  1. Him and Gabe on the sled
  2. When he learned about Christmas
  3. When Lilly wanted her elephant.

The Beginning of After

Liked or Disliked (1-10, 10 I loved it)

  • 8.5, there where things i loved and several scenes that i wish there was more too them.

Ten Things I liked

  1. That David was a bad boy
  2. That Laurel made it thought the bad thing
  3. That she was never worried about impressing David
  4. That David held her when she4 was up set
  5. The underage drinking (long story)
  6. That he genuanly asked her to the dance
  7. That her Gramma stepped up and was not pushy
  8. How you learned about the family as the book went on through her memories
  9. The love story of it all
  10. That she ended up with David

Ten things I didn’t Like

  1. That she stopped David in her room
  2. That she never went to the College her Dad wanted
  3. That one of the kittens died
  4. The way the popular girls only cared once they where dead
  5. That she ever liked the other guy
  6. That She went to the dances
  7. When the vet lady cried at dinner
  8. How the therapist pushed her self on her
  9. That her gramma freaked out at the slightest thing
  10. That every one pitted her.

Top three Favorite Scene’s

  1. When she asked fro a drag of his cigarette in the garden
  2. The night in her room
  3. When she went off to college

The Hunger Games

Liked or Disliked (1-10, 10 I loved it)

  • 9.8, I really liked this book but it did not seam as good as twilight breaking dawn

Ten Things I liked

  1. I related a lot with Katness
  2. I love that she is selfless
  3. I loved Peeta from the beginning
  4. I Lover her rebellion
  5. I like that it’s wrong…. like the whole games are wrong, but people love them
  6. I like that she is a fighter
  7. I liked how she wanted to help Peeta
  8. I liked her alliance with Rue
  9. I liked the Practicality of how it’s written
  10. I liked that her and Peeta’s relationship

Ten things I didn’t Like

  1. The Game keepers
  2. The play up of the Horrid thing
  3. That Rue died
  4. That Peeta was really in love with her
  5. That Gale had such a small part in it
  6. That The games ruined her
  7. That the arena fought back
  8. The mutations
  9. That there was not more about her Dad
  10. That She was so pessimistic

Top three Favorite Scene’s

  1. Her and Gale in the woods
  2. Gale pulling Prim off Katniss so she could take her place
  3. Rue’s last minuets

Catching Fire

Liked or Disliked (1-10, 10 I loved it)

  • I give it an 8

Ten Things I liked

  1. There was more Gale
  2. There was more games
  3. there was more rebellion
  4. Peeta’s Curve balls
  5. Cinna’s work
  6. The wedding dress at the games thing
  7. Her protecting Gale
  8. Haymitch, Peeta, and katness’s relationship
  9. That she forgave her mom
  10. The hope in the whole book

Ten things I didn’t Like

  1. That the elderly had to fight again
  2. President Snow
  3. That Peeta is gone
  4. Too many names in this book
  5. That She was ‘pregnant’
  6. The Quarter Quall
  7. Her getting drunk
  8. The Nude chick in the elevator
  9. The snow storm
  10. The new Head Peacekeeper

Top three Favorite Scene’s

  1. When she hung the Dummy
  2. When Gale kissed her
  3. Gale and Katness in the very end

Favorite Quotes

“this would be easier if her was easier to hate”

The Mockingjay

Liked or Disliked (1-10, 10 I loved it)

  • 9.9, I loved it, yet it was not my most favorite book ever.

Ten Things I liked

  1. They took over the Capitol
  2. That Peeta Lived
  3. That Finnick and Annie got married
  4. Prim training to be a doctor
  5. Katniss ending up with Peeta (I was unsure at first)
  6. That she ended up in 12 again
  7. That they had kids
  8. The book
  9. That she killed coin
  10. That she lead the rade in the Capitol

Ten things I didn’t Like

  1. Gale being an ass
  2. That Peeta was hijacked (yet i do get that that had to happen)
  3. Prim Died
  4. Finnick Died, and left Annie
  5. That her mom didn’t care
  6. That Katniss was so ruined
  7. That she never showed Peeta that she saved the pearl
  8. That Johanna never had a bigger part
  9. That she voted to have a Hunger Games of the Capitol children
  10. That Peeta was never the same

Top three Favorite Scene’s

  1. Epilogue
  2. Finnick and Annie in the hospital
  3. Prim telling Katniss she was going to be a doctor
  4. When Gale saved all Katniss’s things and Prim saved the cat (I like that she still held a few things sacred evn though she was so damaged.)
  5. When she killed Coin instead of Snow

Can’t choose just three

Quotes I Liked

  1. “you love me, real or not real?”, “real


All in all it was a great book I loved much of it and I think it was a suprizing ending to the series. There was a lot of loss, and pain which was hard to read. I mean she lost Prim who she was sure she loved, she lost her mom Emotionally, and she was so damaged in the end that her life was barely worth living. Yet i found relief in that she did finally realize that she loved Peeta, and could be happy again with him and she could enjoy having kids in a Hunger Games free world. I do wish that I had known more that happened to Annie and thir son and that Finnick could have known his son. And Johanna and Gale and the rest of the characters. Still it was a good book and I recommend it to any one.


Liked or Disliked (1-10, 10 I loved it)

  • 8.5, up there right before hunger games and Twilight but before all other books i have read.

Ten Things I liked

  1. Justin being imperfect
  2. Her mom and her relationship
  3. Her personality
  4. That she was a rebel
  5. The way the author wrote the dialog
  6. The creativity of a futuristic society
  7. The overall way things happened
  8. The ending
  9. The descriptiveness in the bizarre things
  10. That fact that she was beautiful

Ten things I didn’t Like

  1. That her Dad never came around
  2. That she did not run off with Justin
  3. that she went back to digital school
  4. the vagueness of the description of her and Justin
  5. the length of the book
  6. that fact that it’s no a series
  7. Her stubbornness
  8. That she and Justin did not have enough time together
  9. that Justin tried to push her to be with another guy
  10. Scott

Top three Favorite Scene’s

  1. When Justin helps her visualize/their first kiss
  2. When she escaped from Paul
  3. The first water escape


Overall this book told a great story with twist after twist. I really enjoyed the simplicity in the fact that it’s a love story but liked that it was different and i think that author did a great job stepping out.

The Declaration

Liked or Disliked (1-10, 10 I loved it)

  • 9.8 I loved this book id say as much as i liked hunger games. Ya, that much. This needs to be a movie.

Ten Things I liked

  1. Anna’s Ahah Moment
  2. That she had a brother
  3. That her parents loved her unconditionally
  4. that she can never think she is a surplus again
  5. That Peter got his ring back
  6. That Anna always gave her best
  7. Anna’s passion
  8. That she fell in love
  9. Her trust in people
  10. The way the book was narrated not from Anna’s view and that you saw differtn scenes

Ten things I didn’t Like

  1. Her parents had to die
  2. That Mrs. Sharpe gave them up
  3. That Peters parents where so horrid
  4. That Shelia never got out
  5. That Shelia betrayed Anna
  6. That Anna has to raise her brother
  7. All the demeaning things she said to Anna (it was important but hard to read
  8. That she didn’t write more in her journal
  9. Her lack of maturity
  10. Her stupidity in trying to get put in solitary

Top three Favorite Scene’s

  1. When she mat Ben
  2. When she finally realized Peter was right
  3. When Peter told her he loved her.


This book changed me. It made me think differently about love and the what it really means, I also understood her her “Ephifany” moment when she realizes that she was wrong all this time. I loved the twists that i was not expecting and can ecstatic to read them as they happened and really enjoyed the narriation and her writign not a her tellgin the story.

Also I realyl want thsi book to be a movie, Its perfect.

The Maze Runner

Liked or Disliked (1-10, 10 I loved it)

  • I really liked this book, I think that I would give it a 9.0, It was defiantly a good book.

Ten Things I liked

  1. Tomas stepping up as a leader
  2. Him not being afraid to show emotion
  3. that he fell in love with Teresa
  4. That he made friends
  5. That he was different from the other Gladers in a good way
  6. His fearlessness
  7. Newt
  8. Minho
  9. Chuck
  10. That they made it out

Ten things I didn’t Like

  1. That Chuck died
  2. That the world was a bad place
  3. All the pain Thomas had to feel
  4. That Alby died
  5. That Gally lived
  6. that it took them so long
  7. That there was ALOTHER group
  8. That the book ended
  9. That it’s not over
  10. That the maze was better than the real world

Top three Favorite Scene’s

  1. When he ran throg th door to help Alby and Minho
  2. When Minho said he deserved to be Keeper
  3. the end when he was told Teresa he loved her (kinda)


Overall I enjoyed the book I liked that I never knew what was going to happen and I really liked Thomas and his take on everything, Good book please read it.

The Scorch Trials

Liked or Disliked (1-10, 10 I loved it)

  • I liked this book, I think that I would give it a 7.0, It was defiantly a good book.

Ten Things I liked

  1. Brenda
  2. When Jorge Said Muchacho
  3. That Teresa Kissed Him
  4. Minho as a leader
  5. The fact that you understand more about WICKED
  6. Thomas getting to the point where he was like screw it I’m all in this thing
  7. That Teresa was not really mad at him
  8. Thomas saved Brenda
  9. How Thomas got more kniving and witty as the book goes on
  10. They made it on the plane

Ten things I didn’t Like

  1. There was such a disregard for the lives lost
  2. That Thomas has to kill a crank
  3. That Brenda and him got drunk
  4. That they all have the Flare
  5. That Thomas actually had to view people as despicable or not
  6. That Teresa hurt him
  7. That this round basically ruined Thomas
  8. That Chuck was gone =(
  9. That There where more grievers
  10. The lack of knowledge of group B.

Top three Favorite Scene’s

  1. When Thomas kissed Teresa
  2. When Thomas Kicked ass on the plane to save Brenda
  3. When they got to the city and Thomas talked to Jorge as the leader and saved Minho.


AS a whole this was a good book. I enjoyed it although it took me a long time to finish. It followed much of the same plot line as the Maze Runner but this was still vastly different not like the Hangover 2 where it was the same exact thing, this was the same thing but you never felt it. I liked the Maze Runner better as a whole.

I do recomend this book if you have read the Maze Runner and I recommend the Series as a whole.


Liked or Disliked (1-10, 10 I loved it)

Overall I would give this book a 9. I was impressed by the story I had more than one occasion where I was completely caught off guard by what happened and irritated that I could not read any faster. I liked the way it was written with little snips from everyone in the book, it was irritating going from one to another but I feel it was seamless once you got what was happening. I laughed I cried, I cheered them on I couldn’t ask for a better conclusion.

Ten Things I liked

  1. Lizzy did not have to kill him
  2. Haley got a good home
  3. Jared was such a sweet heart
  4. Haley in general
  5. The will to live and fight that was in everyone
  6. The accuracy to how a case like this would run
  7. The story as a who was not too gross
  8. Spiderman is dead
  9. The way it was written from many views
  10. How smart lizzy was

Ten things I didn’t Like

  1. The sex scene
  2. That Brittany fell in to his trap
  3. That Jared’s family business was there
  4. That they killed Maggie
  5. That Mary was Jessica’s sister
  6. That everyone in the book had to go through so much pain
  7. That that jimmy had cancer in the end?
  8. That the watch never came back in the book
  9. That the jail lady had no help what so ever
  10. That he didn’t perpose in the end

Top three Favorite Scene’s

  1. When Jared shot Spiderman
  2. When Haley helped Brittany
  3. When Jared said he alwasys loved her


This book was awesome it followed the story of Lizzy who was a victim of abduction by a serial killer when she was 16, she escaped but it haunted her ever since. They thought the guy was captured but when another girl goes missing and the kid napper leaves a note to Lizzy she jump in the case to save the little girl and put a stop to the man that ruined her life. I really liked this book all in all. Coincidering I got it because it was a dollar or free on amazon so I randomly downloaded it. Totally recommend this book to eveyone… guys it’s not girly…

Annie’s Baby

Liked or Disliked (1-10, 10 I loved it)

  • I think I will give this book a 6 it was not a bad book it was just a sad depressing book. I must admit I cried through like most of it.

Ten Things I liked

  1. She was honest in her writing
  2. She made a good choice in the end
  3. She was read in her feelings
  4. I related in the self talking in her writing
  5. She still strived to get good grades
  6. She told her mom
  7. Her Mom was so wonderful
  8. How she cared for tammy
  9. The maturity in her writing
  10. She found the light at the end of the tunnel

Ten things I didn’t Like

  1. That the ass never paid for his mistakes
  2. How she liked him even though he was an ass!
  3. That she forgot all about Tammy
  4. Her lack of updates on what was going on
  5. That she never loved the baby and talked about it
  6. That she didn’t tell you more about the adoption
  7. Not more about her future
  8. Not more info about her stay with Dr. B
  9. It ended when the moved
  10. Not more info on the adobpted family

Top three Favorite Scene’s

  1. When she said she knew she could move on
  2. When her Mom decide to help her
  3. When she talked about how awesome her Mom was


This book is the diary of Annie who is a 14 year old girl who is raped by a boy she liked that was abusing her gets pregnant and has a baby and gives the baby of for adoption. Very sad book. The hardest part for me to read was the part where she had to tell her Mom she was pregnant and she was worried she would never love her again, but her Mom loved her and supported her the whole time.

The Perks of being a Wildflower

Liked or Disliked (1-10, 10 I loved it)

  • Honestly I was not a fan of this book. I would give it a 5 or a 6 overall.

Ten Things I liked

  1. Sam
  2. Patrick
  3. Bill
  4. The reference of the great literature
  5. The way Charlie thinks
  6. How he was there for his sister
  7. How innocent Charlie was
  8. How Patrick and Sam accepted him
  9. How he stuck up for Patrick
  10. That in the end Patrick was going to be okay

Ten things I didn’t Like

  1. How much I am like Charlie
  2. Aunt Helen
  3. That he never ended up with Sam
  4. That he was so socially awkward
  5. How many horrible things happened to him as a kid
  6. That all his friends were so much older
  7. Brads Dads reaction
  8. His Grandpa
  9. How the book as a whole made me feel
  10. The length of the book and how there is a disfucntioin on the overall ploy

Top three Favorite Scene’s

  1. When they were infante
  2. When Charlie stuck up for Patrick
  3. What Sam said in the end


The book scared me so much. I look at the world a lot like Charlies does. I hate that he had to experience so many horrible things, he was just a child. I recommend the book for anyone who does not see the world like Charlie does.

Diary of a Synethete

Liked or Disliked (1-10, 10 I loved it)

  • 8, I like this book a lot

Ten Things I liked

  1. She had aura synesthesia
  2. She was a girl
  3. That she explained things similar to how I have tried
  4. How she talked to her self
  5. How she treated a “brown”
  6. How her mom reacted
  7. The alphabet game
  8. The honestly in her writing
  9. How when she described people by color I knew what she meant
  10. That she loved it and hated it

Ten things I didn’t Like

  1. How short it was
  2. That she was a projector
  3. That she was young
  4. That we didn’t know more about her family
  5. That we never heard more about how it affected her brother
  6. That she didn’t describe more about it
  7. That she did not describe how it affected her school more
  8. That I never knew if her dad had it
  9. That she never talked about when she knew she had it
  10. That there was so little tiem passing

Top three Favorite Scene’s

  1. The “Mom, Brown!!”
  2. The brush
  3. Talking to her self in the kitchen


Awesome book I have never read something and felt like it was describing me more.

Things I Will Do as a Parent, Someday

  1. Adopt – Honestly if I could never have a biological kid that’s completely fine with me. I can and will be mother even if the kid does not have my DNA. I vow to love it as mush as my heart can hold and then some.
  2. Biblical names – I have always wanted a theme with my children’s names. I have loved for years the idea of them all being bilabially based. But, I don’t want a John and Mary, I want a Judah, and a Jude, and a Jeremiah (Girl, Myah for short), and Lilian.
  3. Family names for middle names -Lilian Allison (Last Name) and Jeremiah Abigail (Last Name), Jude Steven (Last Name) and there has to be a Judah Lee which was my grandmothers middle name that she went by and it is my middle name as well.
  4. Raise them to be Christians – I will raise my children knowing that Jesus is not only their savior, and creator, but the one that gave them to me the one that choose me to be their Mommy. No they didn’t come from me, but I believe it will be a match made in heaven.
  5. Homeschool/Private School – I do mean this as a slight to the public school. They screwed me over, they didn’t see my disabilities and called me lazy for 14 years, and I will not allow that to happen to any kid of mine. A private education with less students per class and more resources will be the plan for my kids. Ideally, I would hire a professional to come in to the home and teach them daily and we school that way.
  6. Santa – Santa is real. No he is not a man but a sprit of love and giving. Till they are old enough to understand he is a man but we will introduce Santa to them to teach them about faith.

My 2018 Christmas List

I accept that I will not get all these items for Christmas, what I am simply doing is showing my hearts desires, feel free to ship any of seen items to me. I will not reject them. 🙂


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I love face masks too.

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I don’t want the 60 pack I WANT THIS ONE, it has all the different colors the 60 pack does not.
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Never tried these and I want to.
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This just makes my heart happy.
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I ran out and I’m too cheep to replace it.
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Everyone says I need one.
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Color procain. Acne one. It’s the best.
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Kate Spade Hayden Mini
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Apple Watch Series 4
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Hilighter Palett
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Ugg Slippers
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House Series on DVD
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Kylie Eyeshadow Pallet
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Love your Melon Beenie
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Nike Hoodie
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Teiks Ballet Flats
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Iphone Lense

Things On My Mind!

I should have titled this ‘my unpopular options….’

  1. I don’t know much about immigration law, but I think that if you come to this county and do illegal things, you should go back to your own country. Regardless of whether you have a family here or not. Yes, I support separating kids from their criminal parents. Now I’m not taking about speeding, or anything like that I’m talking, murder, rape, domestic violence, type crimes. Also I don’t think we should as tax payers pay for illegal immigrants to go to college. If you wanna become a legal citizen then you can have FAFSA and the same financial aid and scholarships that other citizens qualify for. I understand that I am under educated on the issue but this is the things I think.
  2. I feel that a baby is a baby the second the sperm fertilizes that egg. You don’t have to keep the baby you didn’t plan for, but ending it’s life is not an option. There is adoption, think of all the loving family that can’t have kids. Yes, there is too many kids in foster care as it is, but if that’s your concern then it should have been your concern before you had sex. Just my opinion.
  3. If you are raped and that rape conceives a baby, you have an obligation to that baby to house it till it can survive in the world. No you where not given a choice in having that baby but why take that choice away from the baby too? Ending a life is not the answer. Yes, it would be easier too end its life. But you are just taking the horrible thing that happened and making it worse. After all yes the baby is half the man or woman who raped you but it’s also half you. Give them the option to live any become a decent person. They are not the person who took the choice away from you.
  4. Divorce. I don’t believe in it. I believe you get one chance to find someone and marry them and once you have made that choice you are to stay married to them till death do you part. Oh, but Kyra what if they are abusing you or your kids? Then get away! Get safe! But you made a commitment to love them and help them in sickness and in health. They are clearly sick in the head and need help. You have a responsibility to help them, from a safe place. Even if you can’t get over it. They cheated and you can’t forgive them, you don’t go out and end the marriage. You stay married and maybe separate for a while. Maybe even forever, but you don’t get to go choose someone else. Thats not how a commitment works. Also, when you married them you actually agreed to love them no matter what. That includes cheating. You have to work it out. You can’t quit and start over.
  5. Santa is real. He is a spirit of love, giving, kindness, and acceptance. I believe in the mythical creature that he is. You encourage the belief in Santa till they start to question it. Then you sit them down and welcome them to the joy of being Santa and keeping the sprit alone for the children around you. I believe in the impossible. I always have. So I believed in Santa till I was 19. Then I asked my Dad if there was a Santa and he conformed that Santa was not a man, but a sprit of love and hope. Therefore, I choose to believe in Santa.
  6. I think its sin to have sex before marriage. The line is crossed as soon as you go to second base. That’s right, for me and the next man I date, we will only kiss till we be  married. Now, I’m not planning on only kissing like your grandmother is watching till marriage, I’m saying no clothing will be removed, no hands will be placed anywhere you can’t place them in a church. Be passionate, just not physically. Till you are married.
  7. I don’t believe in dating for the sake of dating. I believe in dating like you are intending to marry them, you are essentially testing out being a team before you seal the deal. If you are not intending to marry them and don’t even wanna think about marriage you are too young to date. So to the next man that decides to pursue me, I will only date you if I think we have a potential to be one, before God and our families. I almost wanna have him meat my parents before we start dating. I decently wanna pray about it first. Have I screwed up these rules myself, yes. Will I make the same mistake twice? No.
  8. Some kid with ADHD or ADD need Ritalin to thrive. Wanting to take the medication as prescribed, needing to take the medication as prescribed is not a weakness. After all you’re dependent to the chemicals your brain is making to make you not ADD, why am I not allowed to be dependent to the meds that make my brain work like yours. This goes for adults too. I’m dependent on the anxiety meds I take, why should I be “working to get off them” or “not getting dependent on them” when you are dependent and still using the chemicals your brain makes naturally. Everyone that is telling me to get off my meds, that see’s it as a weakness or problem, is missing the point. They are a solution. They are helping me be my best self. Why is that wrong? Therefore I will continue to take my meds as prescribed. After all it’s the same as a diabetic, they can’t “get off meds” or “not be so dependent on them.” My condition is the same way.

To Those of Us Who Have Screwed Up…

This post is about 2 things. The first is about how we treat the people we love when they make a mistake. The second is about the mistakes I have made and why i choose to live my life the way I do.

The First Thing:

We have all screwed up at some point. Whether it was intentional or not we have made mistakes we can’t take back. Said something in anger, chosen something we shouldn’t have. Thought with the part of our brain that is not wired to logic. We have all done it and will probably do it again.

What we fail to miss is this. To the ones that love us unconditionally, we are already forgiven… before we even make the mistake.

I like this analogy. Say my cat Lulu booked it out the door one day as I was bringing grocery in. I would chase after her. I would follow her to the ends of the earth looking for her. I would post signs with my phone number, offer a reward, and spend every hour looking for her till she was in my arms again.

Seems normal right? But ah, change the cat that escaped to a person who choose the wrong thing. Now what do you do? Give them the silent treatment, yell at them, demean their ability to make choices.

How is this any different than Lulu getting out?

Sure, she didn’t know any better, I was trying to protect her by keeping her in. It’s the same to the person who made the wrong choice. They did it trying to achieve happiness not trying to get away from you but to see if the grass was greener. They didn’t know you kept them from it because you were trying to protect them… They didn’t know any better.

Here is where it gets hard.

When I sit crying in my arms on my porch, voice gone from yelling her name and I look up to see dirty, cold, tired, hungry Lulu walking up the drive way what am I to do?

Turn a cold shoulder, say “look who’s coming crawling back”, laugh at her realizing I was right and she was wrong, Leave her to walk the drive alone, and continue to belittle her till she admits I’m right.

Absolutely not, But that’s what most people do when the person who made the wrong choice comes back.

What should you do? I’d bolt to Lulu coming up the drive. Fall to my knees, wrap my arms around her so tight that I can literally give her my love through osmosis. Feed her the good tuna that’s for humans, bathe her, wrap her in a warm blanket and snuggle her, petting her till she falls sleep in my arms and them go on like it never happened.

That also what you should do when someone you love makes a mistake. Like the protocol son, welcome them back with open arms. Throw a dam party because this means they have now made the right choice and even if they haven’t, all that matters is that they are here.

The Second Thing:

I’m royally screwed up in my life time thus far. So bad that I have done things that can’t be taken back, said things i regret, done things I regret, and nearly lost my own life more than once.

It’s been by the grace of God, the heavenly father that I am as unscathed as I am, with VERY few battle scars.

So why do I choose to follow the lord with all my heart? Honestly, I weighted the options. At some point in time I sat back and weighted my options and honestly from a socially perspective for me following Jesus won.

It would be easier in many ways to be an atheist. Never have to be let down by what you thought God was gonna do. No church, no scripture, no gospel music, just science and proven facts that add up all the time. It’s all up to you to make a life live it to the best of your abilities and die. When you die it’s just over, no judgement day, no rules to follow in life, you could drink, and do all the legal drugs, and sleep around and live for what feels good now. (Sorry to all the atheists that read this I feel your anger building as I type, I’m making a point I swear.) I admit to living like this for a period of time. Angry with the “God” I was raised to believe in. If he was real than why was I in so much  pain? Why would he allow it when I begged him on my knees to make it stop?

Ah, but then there is the other side. Live a life of hope. Of greater purpose, of eternal love. Sure that all sounds great. But what if it’s wrong? Then I will have wasted my life being blissfully happy with my made up God. If I’m wrong then I had a imaginary person to lean on in the storm, I had hope when there was none  and I had a dream that was impossible but in my heart believed that God could.

To me the decision was easy. I choose God.

That decision came with some strings attached. No drugs. No alcohol, no sex till marriage, follow the laws of the land, no idols, tell the truth, honor your parents, walk with integrity, be wise, go to church, learn the scripture, ya it’s a lot, cuz that’s just the tip of it.

I have lived both sides and I am here to tell you that one comes with a please I can not describe, a building rock on my chest is gone, the pit in my stomach is gone, the void in my heart is gone. Am I losing some value of life by not having thoes things sure. I suppose I am, but I am made up for it in peace, hope, and love.

Basically I am here to tell you that if your relationships are screwed up, your financially unstable, your failing at your job, you’re missing the point. Quit chasing all the little things and chase God. He will put all those things in your hands for you.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust the lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding but in all ways acknowledge him and he will make your path straight.

Read that again.

Once more.

See it? It is instructions for life. HE WILL MAKE YOUR PATH STRAIGHT, you need only acknowledge him in all ways.

Here is my little test if you are on the fence about something.

Should i drink this beer excessively?

Ask: Is that God’s best?

If the answer is no then don’t do it. If the answer is yes, then go for it.

Now I’m rambling to go ahead and rip be to shreds in the comments. 🙂

Life Update?

I’m back in school:

I started my MBA at Capella University online using Flex-path, where I work at my own pace. SO far I am 3 classes of 19 classes in. (You do one class at a time.) I’m happy feeling lick I am bettering myself. At least with an MBA I am more marketable as an employee. The economics degree alone is not much for the job market.

The eventual goal will be to get my PhD in like business admin or something… Where ever God leads honestly. But I will be done with my MBA this time next year.

I quit my job:

Yep, I was not being treated correctly by a co-worker and so I left the situation. It was hard. I hated every min of the quitting process but it’s over, I am free of that treatment and I can move forward.

Thats all Folks:

That’s all I got for now. Trying the best I can to enjoy this time of year despite being unemployed. I love Christmas time whether I have job or not.

PS. If you know of anyone hiring in the Pullman, WA/Moscow, ID area… please hit me up. I’m a hard worker and always bring my smile to work. 😉



#YOI: Day 14/365

Two weeks down.

8lbs down.

Feeling 110% better about my choices.

We have hit a little bump in the road. We don’t love the devotional we are currently doing so we are revamping this week. Using the Through the Word App.

We also added weekly sermon listening which I did this morning. Courtesy of Joel Osteen, and Lakewood church.

Also more planning of meals and better strategies preparation in meal planning. This way when I come home tired and hungry I can just go to my pre planed prepped meal and not to the “eat every thing but the kitchen sink” which was what I was doing still staying within my calories.

It’s hard. I will admit. I have wanted to quit. But then I remember how good its going to feel one year from now looking back and feeling better/healthier.

Dear Kyra,

You can do this. You are capable of being healthy. You are worth being healthy. You need to honor God with your body and if it’s too unhealthy to serve his needs then your failing. Serve as an example to every over weight girl out there who doesn’t think she can do it. Be the example that shows that it’s never too late to change to become the best you. Yes, you have a long road ahead but it’s a whole lot longer when you haven’t started. At least now you are started, and moving forward. Don’t worry about the time its taking, or the numbers on the scale, trust the process. Trust that the lord will help you when you ask for help. Trust that he will guide you though this, and help you.

Love you girl,