Its weird how a diagnosis of somrthing I have had all my life changes my retrospective scope so vivividly.
I got my official Aspergers Syndrome diagnosis on Wednesday.
Now when I look back at so much if my life, I have words to describe events. I have understanding for emotions I felt. Understanding for decisions I made. New takes on old situations.
Every choice, relationship, thought I see differently.
It’s quite the mind trip.
What I need to do now is embrace me. Stop holding back everything I was repressing.
I was/still am so stressed all the time because I was/am living life playingtr part of an allistic person. Acting normal in everything I did so that I could be accepted.
Now I need to seperate the fake from the real. I have to embrace what is me and let go the parts I would usually fake.
Seeing the autistic community on tumblr reading their posts it’s all so me. It’s the thing so feel and experience everyday. I can relate so much it’s laughable.
Moving forward, I’m excited. I have a new me to release. Now that I finally understand that things that I didn’t get or understand were not/are not/will never be shortcomings but just autism.
I feel this emence weight has been lifted, I feel like I just took a breath of foggy crisp mount top air, after being deprived that breath of life for 21 years.
It’s an amazing feeling. I’m not broken. I’m an aspie.