Big Time Life Update

As you know I have not shared too much of whats going on in my life lately. I was surly not ready to share it with the world. so I didn’t. But I feel like I’m hiding now and I’m over that. So here you go.

No School: I dropped out of law school. I will not be continuing in the Fall, see this post for details.

New Job: In early July I started a job. Since I need to continue paying bills and eating I got a job. More of out of necessity than want to. But I got one none the less. After 2 interviews. One with a huge cat scratch on my face… Anyway, I did not get that job, they never even had the gall to call me and tell me. Whatever, didn’t want that one anyway. Second interview was actually 2 interviews for receptionist positions at Pullman Regional Hospital. One in Behavioral Health Clinic and the other in Heart Center.

IMG_9142

I got the job as lead receptionist at Palouse Psychiatry & Behavioral Health, the behavioral health clinic owned by the hospital. So far I have to admit it’s hard. There is a lot to learn and a lot to take care of. Up side is I am being told that I rock the position and blow their minds with my work on a daily basis. So that feels good. Also I like that even though it’s small I’m helping people that desperately need help. There is a shortage of Mental Health professionals in the area and it’s sever. Bringing me to my nest topic.

ADHD Testing:

So after leaving the psychiatrist at U of I, I needed to go to one in the community. SO I was referred to one at Gritman in Moscow, and they called to schedule me and asked for the testing results of my ADHD diagnosis. Those papers do not exist. I have never been tested for ADHD, only ever screened, apparently.

So after determining that i have very crappy insurance for the summer before my new work insurance starts, I am going to WSU psych department for ADHD and autism testing. I know it seems backwards I’ve been treated for the two for like 6 years but they want a “official” diagnosis so I got to get one.

I am excited to be tested I like the affirmation that I am being treated fro the correct thing.

Things I didn’t Know:

I have carried the diagnosis of manic depressive disorder for about 5 years. I never knew what that meant till I stated working in Behavioral health. It’s Bipolar disorder. I’m unclear as it whether it’s I or II, because I fit the criteria for II not I but manic depressive is technically called Bipolar I.

Idk how I feel about that. I’m still processing.

No-one at work knows I have anything other than ADHD, I was worried I would be judged and they think I could not do the job or worse baby me trying to “protect me” at work. I don’t want that. I want to be treated like anyone else. Like a human being. So I kept it to my self.

 

Oh well, that’s my update. As always message me with questions!

-Ky ❤

Advertisements

Love/Hate

Things That Piss Me Off: (random order)

  1. Injustice in the legal system
  2. People that hurt kids and get away with low jail time or just probation.
  3. People that don’t vaccinate because it “causes autism.”
  4. People that are rude/make fun of people with special needs
  5. Not being prepared for something I could have prepared for.
  6. Low pay for good child care professionals/teachers
  7. Warm Mountain Dew
  8. When someone moves my home furniture without my consent
  9. Socks that fall off you heel
  10. Undershirt tank tops that are too short
  • Things That Warm My Heart: (random order)
    1. People that go out of their way to do something for a stranger
    2. Parents that do their very best to help their kids even when it’s hard
    3. Financial donations to those in need
    4. Adoption
    5. Overcoming addiction
    6. Giving your life to Jesus
    7. People choosing to keep going when they have every reason to quit
    8. Loving when you have every excuse not to
    9. Showing love to your enemies
    10. Respecting someone that things different from you (especially religiously)

    Monday: Weight in #2

    I kicked butt this weekend and earned two blue dots for being in the healthy point range on my Weight Watchers app. Sadly, though I weighed my self this morning and I’m only down like 5 pounds from my highest. I know that seems like a big gain from being 13 pounds down but that is weight loss, it goes up and down and the goal is to keep going no matter what the scale says. I think I am up because I ate a 17 point taco yesterday. That was fulled with sodium. Granted I didn’t have much else yesterday to allow for such a dinner.

    I am a little discouraged, I liked seeing 13 less pounds. But I know its a journey and that it takes time. So I will kick back with my Diet Coke and press on.

    One thing, I have not been taking my measurements. I know I should because my dress pants are fitting a little lose and they were snug. That would be a good way to see some progress even when the scale does not see any. Maybe I will do that today.

    I am supremely bored with my food choices. I eat the same 8 things all week. So This week I want to try at least one new recipy that is out of my comfort zone. I was thinking maybe WW Buffalo wrap things. I have never cooked with buffalo stuff and I really like it at restraunts so why not.

    I’m finding that healthy food is trial and error in what I like vs. what I don’t like. The result has been me spending more money on food than I usually do. I want to avoid that, but I also don’t wanna be stuck in the same boring foods. That is beaming an balancing act.

    Good news, is I still got a blender and I can just throw crap in is and it turns out amazing.  Todays venture will be trying adding Kale to my smoothies. hopefully it makes then a little more filling.

    Quick questions, If… and that’s a big if… I was to film a little about my weight loss journey/my life would any of you watch it? Just thinking out loud. Let me know it the comments.

    Thanks!

     

    WW Day 7: Refection

    A whole week on Weight Watchers. I have drank more Diet Coke this week than any week in my life. It’s been my go to when I want to eat something bad. My favorite thing had been Wendy’s Chili for 4 points. (I get 29 a day) I am officially down 13 pounds from my highest weight of my life. I bought dress pants last Sunday and they were a little snug, then wore then Friday and I was pulling them up. Thats my little #NSV (Non-Scale Victory.)

    Although this is hard its been easier the last 2-3 days. I know more about the food I am consuming and how to snack on things that are little to no points. I miss fast food and sugar. I would give a lot of money to be able to have a turkey sandwich on a chunk of french bread. But you know I want to wear a swim suit and not look like a beached whale more. I have wanted to quit almost every day at some point or multiple points. The hardest point of the week was after my cat scratched my face when I had a job interview in the morning and I was anxious about it could not sleep so I got up and ate. BUT, it was veggie straws and fizzy water not Dr. Pepper and Doritos. That night I wanted to badly to just eat and not count my veggie straws but I reminded my self that I I needed too. So I at very least tracked it.

    You know when something has been broken so long that you just get use to it being broken? For me this has been my weight. It just seemed like such a huge hurdle to overcome that I decided not to try to overcome it. That changed. That picture of me at Hunter’s graduation was my reality check. I saw myself as the “fat sister” and that lit a fire under my overweight ass. I’m a very determined person. I go to great lengths to accomplish what I want. Sometimes to a fault. Now, I want to be healthy and I’m going to do it no matter the cost in time and effort. I’m worth it. I’m done treating my body like a land fill. More spinach less McNugget.

    Got a blender this week. The Nuti-Bullet 600 watt. It’s the coolest thing in my kitchen. I can make 1 point smoothies that are dairy free all day long. They are so filling and yummy. I’ve been debating adding protein powder in my smoothies but I have no idea what I’m doing with them. I just wanna lose weight in the most healthy way. If anyone has any information on protein powder an amazon link would be appreciated.

    Thanks for going on this journey with me. Its hard but being fat my whole life is harder.

    WW Day 4: Reflection

    Well, I stepped on the good old scale today thinking I was up since I am yet to have a blue dot day (day where you only eat your allotted points), and I was down 2lbs. Making my total weight loss 10lbs.

    Ive been bad today food wise… I had a midnight snack of canned chicken salad and crackers and some veggie straws and a fizzy water. My cat scratched my face by accident and I had a interview this morning and I was all stressed about that so I ate to feel comfort. Wrong. But on the up side is was not potato chips and a Dr. Pepper.

    That 13point mistake sent my day in to a derail. So i’m over by 9 points today. All my weekly points are gone from Saturday and Sunday of not really trying.

    I know I shouldn’t expect to be perfect but I really want to be.

    I’m obsessed with food, and all I do is eat. Its embarrassing but I’m really struggling to stop. I’m an addictive personality, always have been. I just had no idea that food was my drug of choice. I don’t wanna be a slave to the fuel that keeps me alive. I hate how much time energy and resourced this is taking and I’m not even making the cut point wise.

    This is a complete mental battle. Here I thought it was a physical thing.

    I am stronger than my brains desire to eat. I am not hungry I am obsessed. It will not taste as good as bikini will feel. Two weeks from now I will be so happy I started now. One year from now I will be happy I started now. This is a lifestyle change not a diet. I am stronger than my addiction to food.

    These are the things I have to keep reminding my self.

    I’m doing this and I will not give in. It’s just a little harder than I thought, or its a bigger problem than I thought.

    Oh well, thats how we win food wars. One bit at a time.

    Monday: Weight In #1

    So about two weeks ago I was at the doctor for a med refill and they weighed me, my favorite thing… and I was at my all time high. Then I got strep throat and didn’t wanna eat anything, after that I started whole30 and followed that 80% till yesterday when I started weight watchers.

    Now, I weighted my self this morning. I bought a working scale yesterday and I’m making Mondays my weight in days. I’m down 8 lbs from that all time high at the doctor two weeks ago.

    Up until about three weeks ago I was on a medication that the side affects were weight gain and trouble losing weight. I needed the medication still do, but now we have switched to a similar med that does not have such side effects. I know that med was holding me back because I went from two energy drinks a day to zero, in April and lost no weight.

    I know weight it just a number and I know it maters more how I feel and how clothes fit and the energy I have. But, that being said it feels damn good to have some sort of start to this battle.

    8 pounds down, a lot to go.